Stop Sabotaging Yourself!

I’m amazed at how often we adapt reality or take on habits that justify our empowerment and need for escape; as a result, we never become who we truly want to be. We consistently inhibit our growth as individuals by stereotyping or labelling ourselves that don’t succinctly define us, and impede our ability to redefine ourselves with road blocks. Even when we have no content or fulfillment from our life, we use self-sabotage as a bluff to our insecurities of personal change and development.

There are many forms of self-sabotage, but it often begins with a desire to find an individual identity and an intent focus on self discourse. It seems that the personal insecurities of people seem to diminish, the more they talk about themselves and express their own individuality. But self identity and personal discourse is not what refines us; we are refined through the course of trial, and life itself. Instead of being responsible for our own failures, we revert to sabotaging ourselves and placing the blame on society when we lose focus and control. It’s easy for us to become lost in this subtle, frequent method – but there are ways to break the cycle:

  1. Identify Self-Sabotage Habits: Write down a list of things you do on a regular basis that waste your time or require too much beneficial energy. When things like relationships, toys, technology and hobbies start to take up too much of our time, they turn into bad habits. Instead of allowing habits to identify you, only allow them to compliment your identity. (Mentors and trustworthy confidants can help you achieve this!)
  2. Be a Life Scientist; Stop Making Excuses: Learn to manage your time properly and prioritize your schedule, instead of overusing the phrase “I don’t have time”. Uncover what activities are most important to you and rearrange your plans to ensure that you can give them the most attention. When you practice being a scientist of your own life and experimenting with your day, you’ll eventually discover how to make the most of each situation; find what aspects of your life can be changed, and try out different ways to achieve your goals. Focus on learning more and seeing results, and the motivation to change will come. Instead of being a static personality, become an adventurer and discover what life has to offer.
  3. Recognize/Dampen Negative Emotions: Stop associating negative emotions with events – they are not similarly related. Life happens, and our views are changed by the way we choose to look at every situation. Instead of directing anger or disappointment to each scenario, think positively about how you can influence beneficial results from life. Empower yourself to destroy negative reactions, and avoid feeling as if you’re without control.
  4. Be An Expert: You don’t have to excel in nuclear physics and your expertise doesn’t have to related to your daily profession. Learn something new or improve at something your unfamiliar with, and become an expert; when we focus on mastering our skills, we empower ourselves to learn and grow. Once you’ve mastered one talent, move onto something else, and discover your true life value.
These steps aren’t easy, but when we grow as we continually take small steps and risks. Even when we stumble, we keep learning and moving towards achieving our dreams. No one ever regrets going on a wild, exciting adventure; people often regret the missed opportunities!

About Chris Tse

I’m a scientist turned owner of Blitz Conditioning, a Fitness Columnist at CBC Radio on Thursdays at 8:20 am, and owner of Tse Social Strategy. Follow me on Twitter or Read my full bio.

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