Fear & Winter Blues – 90 Day Challenge midway point

Today is the start of week 7 and the midway point of this “90 day challenge”.

Since starting my self-discovery in August, through writing I started to look at challenges differently then I had in the past, I really began putting a lot of thought into myself questioning and evaluating. When I’m thinking about myself critically and I begin realize I have a lot of fears and from reading blogs, books and discussions with friends, I have realized I am not alone.

Over the past six weeks I have surrounded myself with an amazing group of people and when working together to improve ourselves physically fears end up leaking out, some might not have realized that they let me in on this little secret, where others we have had open discussions about them. Here are some of mine, I’m afraid of not knowing the new person I’ll become and not liking her, I’m afraid that becoming fit and healthy will take is going to take years, I’m afraid that I’m going to let myself down and those who have supported me, I’m afraid that the days I can’t make it to the gym will one day over power the days I do. To be completely honest, I have more, some too personal to share and others a bit silly, but to say the least change is hard and it scares me.

This week, has by far been the hardest, January 21st is known as Blue Monday, its known as the most depressed day of the year, it was blue Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday for me. The combination of long winter days, a job that has its stresses, feeling under the weather and the fact that I’m a woman – we get emotional from time to time. All of this combined equated to me missing the gym three days in a row and one day of work, I slept – A LOT and was pretty unmotivated which inevitably stressed me out more.

This fear, grumpy, stress, unmotivated cycle is cruel and a pain in my ass, I got a message from one of the women from boot camp needing a peep talk, I told her to LOCK IT UP and get in gear (half joking and half serious which she new)… and that I understood her struggles (she’d been out sick too) and I was in the same boat and we both would have a fresh start cause tomorrow was a new day. Peep talk for her was a peep talk for me. Sometimes that what we need to do, “that spinach salad is amazing, don’t drink that beautiful glass of red wine it will be disgusting.” The little lies we tell our selves to push us through the fear or the ones that let the fear take over “its only one piece of cake, you can work it off tomorrow… lets sleep in we will go to the gym after work for sure” I guess it comes back to choices and making commitments, I talked about this a few weeks ago and committing is hard.

For the past two years, I’ve thought about and talked about doing a triathlon and it didn’t happen, I decided a few months ago that this IS the year, I have planned to do a tri a tri at the beginning of May and the Coronation Triathlon at the end of May. I’m excited about this for a lot of different reasons, physically the extra training will be great (and needed), a group of awesome people are training for this also (which helps with motivation and dedication), and I’m going to finish something that kinda scares the crap out of me.

So here is to week seven, time to punch fitness in the face and a chance to ask yourself what would you do today if you knew you would not fail.

 

Sarah Before Photo Dec 18, 2012

Sarah Midway – January 29th, 2013

 

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