Excited, Terrified and Trying Not To Vomit

In August, I put my running shoes on for the very first time. In October, I finished running my first 5k and decided that my next goal will be running a half marathon in November. Not just any half marathon either- the Strip the Night marathon in Vegas. You run the Vegas strip at night while live bands play. Sounds awesome, right? I’m excited and terrified at the same time. Lately though, I’ve been more terrified than excited.

Getting up at 4:45am to run isn’t my issue. Motivating myself to run 3x a week isn’t my issue. The apprehension comes from guilt. I’ve been doing my weekly speed interval and hill runs no problem. The distance runs are a different story. I’ve gotten lazy with my runs. I’m stopping the treadmill every 3-4 minutes to take a break. It’s boredom; straight up boredom. The treadmill is killing my motivation. I’m grateful for the exercise, but I’m just not running where I was when I was training outside in the Summer and Fall.

This guilt was eating me up. I started dreading my distance runs and it was affecting my motivation. I thought I could do this through online training websites and apps. The truth is- I need people. I need to be part of a community. On the path I was on, I could have run my half marathon in 7 months, but I don’t want to just finish the race. I want to crush it and eat it for breakfast. I want to kill it.

I need help. I need Chris Tse.

Chris and I met on Twitter. Right away, a lot of his tweets really resonated with me. I love the way he motivates people and encourages without shame or harsh words. I talked to him at length about this at a party during the Christmas season. The whole Biggest Loser tough love/yelling doesn’t work well with me. I need encouragement. I need to be pushed in a thoughtful, caring way.

I did some back research into classes and called Sarah for insight. I knew in my heart that I need to do this and I emailed Chris. The next day, we sat down and talked about his plan for me. It includes 6 to 8 workouts a week for (at least) the next 90 days. These workouts will be mixture of strength classes, personal one-on-one training and running. Once again, I’m excited and terrified.

I had my first one-on-one training session with Chris yesterday. Unlike big gyms, most of my workout was using small weights and my body weight. No big clunky exercise machines at Blitz. I was concerned I would vomit after our session, but I didn’t. I walked out feeling pretty good.

Fast forward to this morning. It took me 10 minutes to get out of bed. Literally. Don’t even get me started on the old man moaning I’ve been doing when getting out of a chair or the issues I had washing my hair. I couldn’t even imagine how sore my muscles would have been if I hadn’t run 30 minutes this morning. I could complain about how sore I am, but I won’t. I’m excited about this feeling. It’s like my brain is telling my body to wake up and pay attention.

While I walked very slowly through My Filosophy today, I came across a blazer that I absolutely love. It’s about 1-2 sizes too small. I can get it on, but I can’t button it up at all. The arms are really tight as well. I bought it.

Meet my goal jacket:


I’m hoping to button it right up in the next 90 days. Once I do, I’m buying myself a really nice pair of jeans to go with it. New clothes FTW!

Chris, let’s do this! I have a new jacket that I really want to show off.



  1. Good idea on the goal jacket. I have a goal skirt and am glad to say after commitment and hard work, I went down from a size ten to a size two! It took time and focusing on my goals, one of which was my new clothes!

  2. So great, Jen! I’ve found having a trainer and being responsible for checking in and letting her know I’ve done the work has made me accountable and pushed me harder than I would ever push myself. You may be super sore the first little while but you’ll get into the swing of your new program and LOVE IT!

  3. So excited that you started working out at Blitz. I have a similar goal to run the half marathon in Vegas but am starting behind you in my running so your post made me motivated to kick it up a notch.

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